The other day I was driving with Livija (my four month old daughter) and was completely distracted by the wonderful, odorific scent of McDonald's french fries. Those sugar coated, grease injected pleasure sticks that I only eat once in a blue moon. Although there wasn't a McDonald's anywhere close-by, I figured that we must have been driving down wind from the magical arches and that my car had trapped in its ventilation system, the gift of a french fry.
Oddly enough, however, when we arrived home I was smacked in the face again with the smell as I unloaded Livija from her car seat. Where the hell was that french fry? Did I sleep walk the night before and purchase fries in a zombie trance, and then stuff them in my pockets and into the glove compartment of my car? Was Livija farting a french fry smell? (I sniffed her butt...which is okay when you're a Mommy...but, no french fry smell there).
When Piyum came home that night, there it was again! Ha! It was my husband leaking the aroma of the forbidden snack. He had been eating McDonald's in secrecy! "Why do I keep smelling french fries!" I burst out. Piyum looked at me like I was a total weirdo and I could see him consider for a moment whether he should ask me if I was "okay". He quickly thought better of it and replied like a dutiful husband "I dunno."
Just then, as Livija was perched in my arms digesting her most recent 6 ounces of formula, a familiar gurgle arose and warm, milky spit-up planted itself on my shoulder and her chin. As I reached for a burp cloth to soak up the frothy mess, I realized what I had been smelling all day....
The "french fry" was me.
The "french fry" was me, dusted in the fragrant aftermath of spit-up on my shoulder. For god-friggin-sake I WAS THE SMELL!
I smelled like an oh-so-sexy new mother. I glanced at my husband, wondering if he knew that I had just made the horrific connection. God love my husband for being able to come home at the end of the day and tell his french fry wife that he missed me. Who could miss a formula drenched wife? The same wife who used to smell of sweet perfume and expensive beauty products?
So this is motherhood? Can I phone a friend?
Oddly enough, however, when we arrived home I was smacked in the face again with the smell as I unloaded Livija from her car seat. Where the hell was that french fry? Did I sleep walk the night before and purchase fries in a zombie trance, and then stuff them in my pockets and into the glove compartment of my car? Was Livija farting a french fry smell? (I sniffed her butt...which is okay when you're a Mommy...but, no french fry smell there).
When Piyum came home that night, there it was again! Ha! It was my husband leaking the aroma of the forbidden snack. He had been eating McDonald's in secrecy! "Why do I keep smelling french fries!" I burst out. Piyum looked at me like I was a total weirdo and I could see him consider for a moment whether he should ask me if I was "okay". He quickly thought better of it and replied like a dutiful husband "I dunno."
Just then, as Livija was perched in my arms digesting her most recent 6 ounces of formula, a familiar gurgle arose and warm, milky spit-up planted itself on my shoulder and her chin. As I reached for a burp cloth to soak up the frothy mess, I realized what I had been smelling all day....
The "french fry" was me.
The "french fry" was me, dusted in the fragrant aftermath of spit-up on my shoulder. For god-friggin-sake I WAS THE SMELL!
I smelled like an oh-so-sexy new mother. I glanced at my husband, wondering if he knew that I had just made the horrific connection. God love my husband for being able to come home at the end of the day and tell his french fry wife that he missed me. Who could miss a formula drenched wife? The same wife who used to smell of sweet perfume and expensive beauty products?
So this is motherhood? Can I phone a friend?
2 comments:
So funny! Thanks for sharing. Sure to be one of an endless stream of "a-ha" mommy moments.
Hi Lisa,
Hope you and family are well. Saw this site and thought it reminded me of yours...
http://www.adventuresinbabywearing.com/
-BW
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