Control

Some people drink. Some people chain smoke. Some people eat cookie dough. Me? I furniture relocate. Ask my poor freshman year roommate. She had to sit through several sessions of me grunting and sweating as I pushed all of my furniture out into the hallway, and then pushed it back in again so I could reconfigure the room (because those rooms were much too small to do the Hokey Pokey in, let alone spin a bed). Furniture relocating is my way of regaining control when things start to spin in the rest of my life - so it's no wonder that as a new Mother, I've become a bit obsessed with interior decorating.

I lay awake for hours the other night contemplating whether wall sconces would work above our bed, and if I could manage swapping the den furniture with the dining room furniture. This mental exercise seemed much more practical than agonizing over what was really bothering me...that my friggin' 5 month old can't figure out how to sleep for more than an hour without needing a pacifier rescue. You see, I can't control her sleep patterns - but god dammit - I can move the treadmill from the office to the bedroom if I want to.

Piyum has learned to live with this over the years as well. I can't tell you how many times he walked into the living room during my last weeks of pregnancy to find the couch in a different place. If Livija wasn't going to make an entrance, at least I could practice good Feng Shui (and perhaps get things moving a bit with some heavy lifting).

You never believe it before you have a baby, but there is just so LITTLE you have control over after you become a parent. It's sad that most mornings, I don't brush my teeth or get my first bathroom run in until a good hour or two after she has woken up. Hygiene just goes straight out the window (and I don't even want to hazard a guess at the last time I actually took time to SHAVE.)

I've got my eye on the guest bedroom next. Piyum better watch out. That queen sized bed might just be in the basement next time he comes home, and the room magically transformed into an infants playroom paradise. We won't be able to have guests anymore (unless they want to sleep in the basement), but at least I'll feel like I have the upperhand.