My "Skillz"

For those of you who know me well, you know that I looooove the movie "Napoleon Dynamite." One of my favorite parts is when he talks about how guys have to have "skills" to get girls - you know - "nunchuku skills, bow hunting skills, computer hacking skills..." I think along these same lines, that Moms develop new skills as a part of evolutionary "survival of the fittest." Fathers and babies need Moms who have killer skills so they can be assured that they will thrive. Here are just a handful of the skills I have acquired in the past 5 months:

1) Super sonic hearing (I can hear a baby cry from a house three miles away)
2) One handed extraordinaire (making bottles, washing dishes, cooking meals, opening mail, shopping, typing, etc.)
3) Going to the bathroom with a baby on my lap (a sight to see indeed)
4) Getting from a sitting on the floor position, to a full stand, while all the while holding Livi
5) 2, 832 children's songs stored in memory for instant recall
6) Ability to drive and complete complex tasks on three hours of sleep
7) Understand a frustrated cry, from a hungry cry, from a tired cry, from a bored cry, from a "you scare me" cry, from a boo-boo cry....
8) Patience, patience, patience
9) Change Livija's diaper while she has both feet in her mouth
10) Wake up from a sound sleep exactly one minute before she begins to whimper
11) Smiling nicely at all of the Mom's who tell you about their child who sleeps 12 hours at night AND takes naps
12) Developing snazzy home remedies (my latest is that instead of a frozen washcloth, I use frozen baby socks for Livija to chew on...much more proportionate!)
13) Sewing ( I swear to God...the last time I touched a sewing machine was in Home Ec; but, this weekend, I whipped out a handmade "Taggy"...what the F?")
14) Sleep with one eye glued to the video monitor